Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Toastmasters Speech 3

I’ve been privileged to know a lot of dogs in my life. Most were good, a few were bad but I think I may have learned something about life from all of them. From a very aggressive catahula named Thibideaux, I learned... sometimes you need to pick your fights. From a little Chihuahua named Baby I learned that sometimes biting can mean you’re getting better. From my own Sammy, who has three good legs and one not so good, I learned that disability does not have to stop you from thoroughly enjoying your life.
I love dogs. They are perhaps the only source of true unconditional love in the world. They give us the best they have. They just want to be with us, and all they ask of us is a little food, and a little love. One trait I’ve noticed about them is they are very much “in the now.” This can be both a good and a bad thing. They don’t worry so much about yesterday or tomorrow. This means that, for the most part, real gratitude, a real appreciation that their situation could be worse, is beyond most dogs.
One of the most remarkable dogs I’ve ever met was a stray mutt named Rocco. Rocco and I came together when I started a working at a local veterinary clinic while completing my undergraduate work at OU. He was an ugly thing, and had already had quite a difficult life by the time I met him.
He was some sort of sharpei mix, with a stocky body, skinny legs, and short, course dull brown fur. One ear stuck straight up into the air, the other was crumpled and drooped off the side of his head. His tail was long and scraggly, and had a crook at the end. No one knows where Rocco came from originally, I’ve always assumed he was dumped by the side of the road. Some people delude themselves into thinking that dogs dumped like that will find new homes, or will be able to survive on their own. In reality... they don’t know how to survive on their own. They don’t know how to find food or water, and they don’t understand the dangers.
Rocco was brought into that clinic in horrible shape. He was emaciated and weak. He’d been hit by a car, and his pelvis had been shattered. He couldn’t use his hind legs at all, and simply touching him made him scream out in pain. He’d obviously been like that for some time, as he had pressure sores on his hips from sitting and dragging himself around. He was suffering from infection and smelled horrible.
You’d expect a dog in that condition to be frightened and shy, maybe even aggressive. No.. Rocco was happy and friendly. For the next several days while we cared for him, he sat in a cage, carefully padded for him, and always had a delighted doggy smile when he saw us. This despite the fact that every time we took him outside it hurt him horribly. He ate his meals with gusto and seemed genuinely happy.
The clinic took up a collection and eventually sent Rocco to a surgeon to repair his pelvis. It had been broken long enough that it had already started to heal badly, and so the repair couldn’t get him even close to 100%. However, over the course of a very long and painful rehabilitation, Rocco was able to stand again. His right leg recovered nicely, his left remained weak and atrophied, but he could walk on it. Over time, the worst of Rocco’s pain vanished. We continued to treat him for the arthritis that certainly remained, but over the next months, Rocco was able to run and play in the fenced yard.
Through all of that... and if any of you have ever had to recover from orthopaedic surgery, you know the pain is awful... Rocco remained his happy, friendly self. He always had a smile for us when we came to feed him and take him out.
Rocco lived at that clinic for over four years. He never got adopted. His whole life he lived in a run with a concrete floor and a chainlink gate. Three times a day he was allowed outside to run and play. Twice a day, he got fed. He didn’t have a family, he just had the kennel workers and technicians, who were often too busy and frazzled to give him much attention. This is not what anyone would call an ideal life for a dog. And yet.. Rocco remained happy. He had the cutest doggie smile. He’d tip his head back and dance around on his skinny little legs and pull those lips back and you KNEW he was just delighted to see you.
It was during the spring of his fourth year there that Rocco began to eat less and less, and stopped running around playing when we let him out. We were worried about him, and asked the veterinarian to take a look. And that’s when Rocco got his last piece of bad luck - he had lymphoma. Over the next several months, all that weight that he’d carefully regained began to fall off. We tried everything to get him to eat, I even started buying him hamburgers on my way into work, but he just didn’t want to eat. As he got weaker, that bad pelvis caught up with him and he could barely stand.
Through it all, even when he was too weak to get up, Rocco remained a happy dog. His ugly little scraggly tail would thump the ground and he would still smile. He’d lick at the hamburger I brought as if he really wanted to eat it, to make me happy, but just couldn’t bring himself to.
Rocco was at that clinic the whole time I worked there - over four years. My last day there, before I left to go to OSU, Rocco wouldn’t even lift his head. He rolled his eyes up to meet mine, he thumped his tail at me, but he just refused to get up. I told the doctor that I thought it was time. She placed an IV catheter and I sat with Rocco and petted him. As the doctor injected the euthanasia solution, Rocco lifted his head one last time, and licked my hand.. As if HE wanted to make ME feel better.
Rocco did not have what anyone could call a good life. He suffered hardship after hardship. No one would have blamed him for being mean and surly. But he wasn’t. He was just a dog. Just a mutt. And he learned a lesson that many people never learn. He was grateful for the life he had, as if he truly understood that he could have starved to death by the side of the road, and that every day was a gift. He lived every minute happy, sweet, and friendly. He never let his injuries slow him down, and even in the grips of the disease that killed him, he still appreciated what he had.
It’s a lesson many people have yet to learn. Appreciate what you have.

This speech won "best speaker."

Toastmasters Speech 2

This is a bit more of an outline of a speech I struggled with. However, in the end it came together well.

*sip*
Mmmmmmm... I just love my diet sodas. They’re a nice, sweet treat that I don’t have to feel guilty about. Simple, easy, and... A good choice when you have sweet tooth and don’t want to chow down on a candy bar. But now we keep hearing that a scientific study PROVED that diet soda makes you fat!

Mister Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters, and honored guests.... This is the story of how to lie with science.How to lie with science
a. Study - There was indeed a very interesting study done that raised some interesting points about how artificial sweeteners may interact with the body. This study tested the way rats body composition changed after eating artificial or natural sweeteners for several weeks.
b. there are a number of problems taking data from a study on rats and trying to apply it to people. Including the more complicated factors influencing food intake in humans.
c. plenty of studies have shown that artificial sweetners HELP humans lose weight.
d. You have to be really careful over interpreting scientific studies. The media is horrible about it.
2. In the particular study, 27 rats were fed plain, low-fat yogurt. One group was fed the yogurt unsweetened. A second group’s yogurt was sweetened with glucose, and the third group ate yogurt sweetened with saccharine. The rats were fed the yogurt six days a week for five weeks. At the end of those weeks, all the rats were weighed and measured. And they discovered that the rats who had eaten the saccharine yogurt had indeed gained more weight, and had a higher percentage of body fat. .... .... Well there you have it... diet soda makes you fat. Except.. This does raise the question of how you get from rats and saccharine sweetened yogurt to humans and diet soda.
a. Problem one: this study was conducted on ONLY 27 rats. Since there were 3 groups, that’s just seven rats in each group. In other words.. The entire diet soda industry is being condemned based on weight gain in seven rats.
b. Problem two: the artificial sweetner used was saccharine. Most sodas are sweetened with aspartame. Saccharine is not at all commonly used anymore.
c. The “real” sweetner used in the study was glucose, not sucrose or high-fructose corn syrup. Glucose is one of the simplest forms of a sugar, and is the sugar that circulates in the blood. Sucrose is what we know as table sugar, and is significantly sweeter than glucose. High-fructose corn syrup is a modified sugar sweeter and cheaper to produce than sucrose and has become the most common sugar found in most processed foods.
d. So.. What did this study prove? This study proved that RATS fed food sweetened with SACCHARINE consumed more calories and gained more weight than RATS fed food sweetened with GLUCOSE. Nowhere in there is there a mention of humans, aspartame, sucrose, or high-fructose corn syrup.
3. But, surely we can extrapolate from the study to human behavior.. Right? The idea being advanced makes a certain amount of sense. Basically, when the taste buds taste something sweet, the body expects to receieve a large number of calories. When it doesn’t receive, you want to go looking for them. Ok..... except....
a. Humans don’t regulate our calorie consumption - unless you make the deliberate choice to do so - human regulate their food consumption by volume, which is why most diets encourage you to eat lots of fiber and salads and fruits and veggies - low calorie, high volume.
b. I like to think I’m smarter than a rat. In other words, if I’m suddenly filled with a craving for a high-calorie food.. I don’t HAVE to go eat it. I can say.. Ya know..I don’t think I will get a giant turtle sundae from Rusties, I don’t think I will eat an entire sara lee cheesecake, I don’t think I will get a Super Sonic Cheeseburger, #2, no onions, with extra cheese, add bacon. I can, and do, decide to go eat a nice salad or a steam some green beans. Why? I’m smarter than a rat.
c. However, I am prey to certain social and environmental factors that a rat living in an a cage in a lab typically isn’t. So, one Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter... I’m likely to consume a lot more calories than is good for me. And in the spring, the possibility that SOMEONE might see my pasty white thighs is enough to encourage me right back to that salad.
4. plenty of studies have shown that artificial sweetners HELP humans lose weight.
a. One of the most recent studies showed that Splenda - an artificial sweetner - helped children lose weight
b. There haven’t been any studies anywhere showing that artificial sweeteners cause weight gain in humans.
5. It’s really important to look at the information offered when someone says “hey.. There was study that proved that....”
a. I can produce.. Year after year... correlations between ice cream sales and violence. When ice creams sales go up... so does violence. Does ice cream cause violence? Noooooo.... high temperatures lead to short tempers. And... high temperatures provoke ice cream sales. Meaning? There is no cause and effect.
b. A recent study showed that if you have an overweight friend, you’re more liekly to be overweight. An episode of Boston Legal jumped on this study to raise the absurd suggestion that obesity is contagious. Well.. I suppose that is one interpretation. Another is that people tend to enjoy spending time with people who have similar interests and activity levels. In other words.... If my fit, healthy friend invites me to a do a half-marathon with her next weekend, and my extra-fluffy friend invites me to go to the chocolate festival with her instead... well... When I’m a pound and a half heavier two weeks from now.. It’s not because I spent too much time too close to my plump friend. It will be because of the pounds of chocolate I consumed.
6. So... does diet soda make you fat?
a. The study certainly could be used to suggest that, but
b. Humans aren’t rats, and don’t make their food choices the same way rats do.
c. That contridicts common sense and other scientific information.
d. Sounds to me like the media maybe had a bit of a slow news day, and decided to over interpret some data.
7. So... is it maybe a little bit of a stretch to go from rats eating saccharine sweetened yogurt to “Diet soda makes you fat?” yes.. I think it is.

This speech won "best speaker"

Toastmasters Speech 1 - Icebreaker

Your first speech with Toastmasters is called an Icebreaker. it is your introduction to the club.

Thank you Mr. Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters, and most welcome guests. And good evening.

I am Donna. I am going to tell you everything you need to know about me in 7 minutes or less.

A couple of weeks ago, Adam mentioned that joining Toastmasters was part of his “Get off your butt project.” I have a similar project, I call mine the “Get your butt out of the house” project. For the last couple of years, I have been working, eating, and sleeping, and repeating the process daily. I am now looking for more. I hear there’s this thing called “dating” and that sounds like it might be fun. Also “movies” and “parties” sound very interesting, and I think I vaguely remember enjoying something called “dancing.” So, as part of my effort to interact with more people on a social basis, I found my way here. And I thank you for the welcome I’ve received.

I am the daughter of two Air Force Officers. However, back in the 60's women were discharged from the service upon becoming pregnant, so my mother, the lieutenant, left the service upon becoming pregnant with me. My father was a fighter pilot, he flew F106s. This is not his story, today, but I’ve always been very proud of the fact that my father joined the air force as a high school dropout at the age of 17 and ended up, some 20 years later, an officer, a pilot, and retiring as a captain. As a little more family trivia, my mother is one of the first ten women ever to travel faster than the speed of sound. She was in a plane with my father at the time, when he broke mach 1. That was in 1963. I was born in March of 1964. For those of you doing math, that means there a is very good chance that I am ALSO one of the first 10 women to travel faster than the speed of sound.

I am not actually an Oklahoma native, though I have lived here since I was five. I was actually born in Tacoma, Washington, and spent three years as a young child in Germany.. Upon my father’s retirement from the air force, my family settled in Moore. Since then, I have lived in Muskogee, Tulsa, Stillwater, and Norman, to name just a few. I am a proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma, with a bachelors degree in Zoology, and also a graduate of Oklahoma State College of Veterinary Medicine. I have been practicing in the Oklahoma City area since 2003, and have been practicing here in Norman for a little over a year. I see small animals, dogs, cats, the occasional bird or reptile, and other smaller critters.
I currently live here in Norman. I live not far from Sooner Mall and cannot get out of my house without going through that oh-so-very-frustrating construction project. I have a 19 year old son, Alex, who has moved out on his own. We get along much better now. Alex is, of course, handsome, brilliant, and extremely talented. I currently share my home with three dogs, Chance, Taju, and Sammy, one cat, Max, and one ferret, Joe. Each of those pets except the ferret was a rescue. Chance, the Dalmatian, was 4 months old and being given away in the wal-mart parking lot by a couple that were moving into an apartment that didn’t accept pets. Taju, a beautiful german shepherd mix, was just 3-months old and totally pathetic when she walked into my house one cold, rainy day. By the time the rain stopped, she had charmed her way into my family. Sammy, a cattle dog mix, was a badly injured patient who’s owners couldn’t afford his care. Since I’d just spent all day trying to save his life, I couldn’t bring myself to euthanize him, and instead, adopted him. Sammy has since managed to wrap me completely around his little paw and has, for three consecutive years, won the “most spoiled dog in Oklahoma” award, given annually by my staff. Max, an orange tabby, was the second of my pets to just walk in the front door. As it happened, his timing was excellent as we were at that time suffering a really wretchedly bad mouse infestation. Max wasted no time solving that problem for us, and won a secure spot in the family.
All of the preceding is background, trivia. Here is the real Donna...
There are some people who are defined by their career. Some of you may be like that. I am, as well. I am a veterinarian.
My being a vet means a few things to you. The first is that I no longer have the ability to conduct polite dinner conversation. My conversation is peppered with stories involving pee, poop, blood, snot, puss, various other more objectionable bodily secretions - and, yes, there are more objectionable fluids than pee, poop, blood, snot, and puss - as well as descriptions of the surgical removal of body parts that most people would prefer not to discuss at the table.
Second, but related, I, and my fellow vets, do not mean the same thing when we say that something is cool that you do. I give you a friendly warning... if I start a conversation with “I saw the coolest thing today!” you do NOT want to know what that was. In fact, if I utter such a phrase, I recommend that you immediately prepare a subject change, because it is very likely that I am about to tell you, in graphic detail, about something that I removed from the inside of a patient, and it is probably going to include some combination of pee, poop, blood, snot, puss, or various other objectionable bodily secretions.
And, third, it means, if you don’t want to adopt a stray pet that’s been abandoned at my clinic, you should start preparing your excuses now. I ALWAYS have a cute little puppy that was left in a box at our door or found tossed into the dumpster, or a kitten that was rescued from a coke machine or huddling back into the loading dock, or a dog that was hit by a car and we can’t find the owner.. The list goes on and on.
The above warnings hold true not just for me, but for most other veterinarians you may know.
So, now that you have been amply warned and prepared, I look forward to proceeding with my “Get your butt out of the house project” and getting to know my fellow toastmasters.

This speech won "best speaker."

Here I am

.... trying my hand at blogging.